Category Archives: Hedberg

The Daily Hedberg Quote

I was gonna get a candy bar; the button I was supposed to push was “HH”, so I went to the side, I found the “H” button, I pushed it twice. Fuckin’…potato chips came out, man, because they had an … Continue reading

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The Daily Hedberg Quote

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. [Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

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The Daily Hedberg Quote

One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said,”Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture is of you when you were younger. “Here’s a picture of me when I’m older.” “You son-of-a-bitch! How’d … Continue reading

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The Daily Hedberg

I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it. [Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

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The Daily Hedberg Quote

On a traffic light green means ‘go’ and yellow means ‘yield’, but on a banana it’s just the opposite. Green means ‘hold on,’ yellow means ‘go ahead,’ and red means, ‘where the fuck did you get that banana at?’ [Posted … Continue reading

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The Daily Hedberg Quote

Y’know, people think I’m into sports just cuz I’m a man. I’m not into sports. I mean, I like Gatorade, but that’s about as far as it goes. And by the way, you don’t have to be sweating and holding … Continue reading

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The Daily Mitch Hedberg Quote

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamus?

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